It seems that most of the book clubs I have spoken to are made up of women in their 30’s to 40’s. Most are young mothers and I recall that when I was their age, I was always reading about motherhood, asking questions, and looking for any kind of information that would help me be a better mother.

In writing my memoir “Divine Betrayal” it became evident that my mother was not the ideal model for anyone. Mother’s mission was to serve Jesus and my father, as a mother she made sure that we did not stray from the teachings of the Bible. She read the Bible to us daily, and watched everything we did to make sure we didn’t sin. That was her duty. I always felt loved by Mother, but she was extra strict with my sister Dorothy, which was confusing to me. Not only did their personalities clash, but Dorothy was outgoing and friendly to everyone, she had an amazing sense of humor. Mother was sure that she was evil—she carried the “sins of her fathers.” Dorothy had been adopted, her birthmother had had her out of wedlock. When I became a mother I was sure that I did not want to be like my mother.

My teenage years were very restricted. I was often embarrassed and angry that (more…)

A frequent question I am asked at book clubs is “What kind of influence did your mother have on your adult life, for instance, what kind of wife were you?”

As I describe in my memoir Divine Betrayal, my mother did her best to become the “perfect wife” for my father. She lived to serve Jesus and she believed she could do this by being the “perfect” helpmate to her husband, the Reverend John Peter Kolenda.

For her this meant complete self-denial, long suffering, working day and night—she was totally enmeshed in my father’s work, and strove to become (more…)

During the process of writing Divine Betrayal, I became aware that some of my family would disapprove of my story, but I had no idea it would be displayed with such fervor.

I sent two review copies (galleys) to two cousins. One cousin who was the closest to me refused to comment on anything she read. A few days later I received a telephone call from the second cousin who in a very sweet voice, said, “Thank you for sending me your book, but….” She went on to question places, dates, the facts of my memory, and my feelings. At one point she said: “I don’t remember you being sad or depressed during that time.”

I found myself feeling the need to justify my feelings—feelings that she would never have known or suspected. I had to explain to my cousin that different people will remember an incident in different ways and each person will tell a story differently. This doesn’t make it right or wrong (more…)

In the past three months I have received several e-mails and letters from Missionary Kids and Preacher Kids, who are now grown up and on their own.

The messages of their letters were very similar. First, they enjoyed reading Divine Betrayal, and were able to identify with my story. Second, MK’s and PK’s felt that I was very courageous to have written my story and several wished they could do the same but still were unable to handle the criticism, mainly from family and friends who were still intolerant fundamentalists. And all of these MK’s and PK’s asked me not to give their names, as most everyone they were close to did not know their true feelings and adult religious beliefs.

This made me feel very sad but I also understand where they are coming from. As an MK (or PK), we are under a lot of pressure to conform to the establishment, to think like our parents and the church—no exceptions.

Near the end of writing Divine Betrayal, I had to stop (more…)

MY SISTER DOROTHY

On Sunday, August 9, 2009, Dorothy passed away in the intensive care unit in Walnut Creek, CA Kaiser Hospital after a long struggle with congestive heart failure. I spent the afternoon with her, three days before she died.  I held her hand, watched her struggle with every breath, we talked about my book, laughed a few times, as she never lost her sense of humor and I kissed her good bye I told her I loved her and she said, “I love you Sis.”

One of the most often asked questions from readers of Divine Betrayal is “What happened to your sister, what kind of a life did she have?”  I will do my best to summarize what I believe to be an extraordinary dedicated life with a mission, “To help others in her community in the most effective way.”

For the past 30 years, every time I spoke to Dorothy she was animated, excited, and full of life and her main topic was her community; all that needed to be done and how she was going about getting things accomplished. She was a fighter and if she saw something that needed to be done, it became her passion and she would not rest a minute until she saw the project completed.

The information for this blog comes from an editorial in the Martinez News-Gazette, on September 13-14, 2008, written by Stan Caldwell and titled, ”A Tribute to Dorothy Sakazaki.”

Mr. Caldwell wrote a beautiful tribute to my sister and at the end he summarized her accomplishments as follows:

Dorothy has provided the Contra Costa County Community Development Department the benefit of her guidance, contributions, and time.  She was instrumental in accomplishing the following with Community Development Block Grants (CDBG):

. Alternate Access to Landfill 1979 ($150,000) CDBG

. Safety Paths for Schools (Las Juntas and Morello) 1980 ($299,000) CDBG

. Reconstruction of Arthur Rd. 1982 ($310,000) CDBG – widen roadway, install storm drains and sidewalks. Landfill trucks re-routed via Waterbird Way.

. Center Ave Reconstruction Project 1987 ($53,000) CDBG

. Contra Costa County Supervisor Gayle Uikema says. ”Dorothy has always been a community advocate for Mt. View Sanitary.  She is dedicated, diligent anddevoted in her quest for good public service.  She is a true representative of working to ensure good government of the highest standards.”Dorothy was elected to the Mr. View Sanitary District board of directors on November 6, 1979 becoming the first woman elected to serve on the board. She has served on the board for the past 28 years.  The growth and accomplishments of the district during her tenure in office stand as a testament to her loyalty, dedication and service.

The MVSD has received numerous awards from governments and professional  associations for achievement in plant operation, pollution prevention and  environmental education during Dorothy’s tenure.  She was also instrumental in helping to provide the first permanent Household Hazardous Waste Collection Facility. Dorothy has been involved in many other public programs benefiting the Mt. View, Vine Hill, and unincorporated areas of Martinez.  She was unofficially known as the “Mayor of Vine Hill.”

I could go on and on, listing her contributions to her city and neighborhood, but I feel enough has been written. One of the many things she was very proud of was the Interpretive Center Program, In-Class Education Program in the schools and on one of my visits she made a point of showing me the schools where this program took place.  The last time I visited Dorothy in her home, she proudly showed me a street a few blocks from her house named “Dorothy.” She lived an unselfish, giving life.  I’m sure my parents, even our Mother, would have been proud of her.  I certainly am.  (more…)