I have a pet peeve and wonder how common this may be.  I hesitate bringing it up because I know it is done with the best of intentions, but it still “bugs” me and I don’t think it is proper, and here it comes.

Its me

 It seems as I got older, and in my 60’s I became everyone’s sweetheart, honey and dear.  I’ve even had people call me lovie.  This is done in person, and on the phone.  What surprises me is that I am called by these names in restaurants, banks and various businesses.  I hate to be unfriendly, but these people are not my sweetheart, my honey or dearie.  I don’t even know them!  Often, inappropriately, I’ve had people moving light chairs for me or asking if I need help lifting small boxes, etc.

            I’ve asked friends about this and most agree that it makes them “mad” specifically, my friend Carole who is five years younger than me.  When I was in my early sixties I told her about this phenomenon.  She half believed me, but a few years later Carole called me and said: ”Gracie, you are right, I’m becoming everyone’s love. “

          To me this means I’m old, feeble, needing assistance and not up to par.  I believe there are elderly folks who appreciate this attention and need the help, and I believe for some it gives them status, but it is only a small minority of seniors who need help and if so, it is usually obvious.   But for the majority of us, it is degrading and disrespectful.  Businesses should teach their employees when and where not to use these familiar terms such as: Hon, Honey, Dearie, Sweaty, Lovie, etc…when addressing a senior.

          By the way, I’m in my 70’s but I’m grateful for outstanding health, and although my face may have a few lines, I’m in better shape and have more energy than when I was in my 40’s..  I play tennis at least 3 times a week, I ski, I walk 5 to 6 miles at least 2 times per week, and next week I am going on a 3 weeks motorcycle trip (renting BMW’s in Seville) to Spain, Portugal and Morocco.  I believe it is important and respectful to treat seniors as an equal, not to assume we are old, feeble and in need of nurturing and physical assistance, unless asked.

          I plan to add a few blogs during these next three weeks and let you know what it is like to be on a motorcycle in these Countries and what the experience is for me.  Hopefully, I can encourage you to take a similar trip. Read the rest of this entry »

Rocinha Favela

 I have received many comments about my blog of January 26, 2010, entitled “The Favelas (Slums) of Rio de Janeiro. Therefore, many of you may be interested in the latest development in the favelas.

            First, Rio has a hundred slums which is estimated to be one fifth of Rio’s population.  In 2004 it was proposed to build walls around 40 of the largest slums. These walls would be 3 meters (9.8 feet) tall. This project today is fully underway.  In my blog I particularly spoke of the favela I visited, Rocinha, which is one of the largest slums and is one of the first favelas to be walled off.

            The government says that the wall will act as an “ecobarrier” preventing the expansion of the favela to the surrounding lush tropical forests.  The residents of Rocinha do not see it this way. The residents see it as a wall around a “ghetto,” and an effort to control violence, and separating the slums from the wealthy areas of Rio. It is interesting to note that of the 13 favelas at the top of the list, 12 of them are near the richest areas of Rio, the fancy hotels, restaurant, and beaches, and away from the western areas where the rapidly expanding slums really do effect the forests.  The residents of Rocinha see this wall as a preparation for the World Cup in 2014 and the Olympics in 2016.  They are comparing it to the Berlin Wall, and the Walls built to separate Israel and Palestine.

Building Favela Wall

Spokesmen for the Rocinha have proposed better ways of defining this area, and preventing growth.  If this is their true objective, why not build walking paths, ecological parks and low walls to help define this neighborhood.  Or maybe provide affordable housing for those who wish to relocate.  The Brazilian government has allocated funds to build one million low-income homes by 2011.  But this is just a drop in the bucket, when there is a need for at least 7.2 million homes, and the population has increased from 169.9 million in 2000 to 190 million in the last 10 years.  I appreciate how difficult it is to find a solution to this very real problem, but I absolutely hate the idea of building walls.

             Psychologically there are even taller walls than 3 meters which separate the slum dwellers from the local middle and upper classes in Brazil.  These walls are ignorance, poverty, lack of medical care, and the fact the workers, maids, gardeners, for all of Rio  comes from the favelas.  Read the rest of this entry »

            During the first week in August I was very upset because all of a sudden there were no more comments on my web site coming from the readers of my blogs.  I was shocked that it happened so suddenly.  Usually I receive 10 to 15 comms per day.  Of course, I figured the problem was with me.  I had not written any blogs for over two weeks.  Then I posted the blog about President Obama’s appearance on The View and still I had no comments from readers. 

            I use Word Press as filter for all of my blogs.  I am given a chance to accept or reject all comments before actually posting them on my web site.  On a few occasions this is very useful, as there are always people trying to sell something, or some comment not having anything whatsoever  to do with the blog.  I also receive a significant number of comments in other languages, including;  Dutch, German, Chinese, etc…     I always  get a translation before I post them. 

            As I mentioned, the first week of August I did not receive any posts.   I also noticed that I had over 150 items in the “Junk Mail” folder, which is way above normal.  I was very busy during this time and I emptied this folder without looking.  Today, again I had accumulated a lot of items in the “Junk Mail.” folder   I decided to look at this folder, and see what was happening.  Well, I was shocked to see most of them were comments waiting for my approval from Word Press.  Somehow my computer was placing all of these in the “Junk Mail” folder. 

            So, if you sent me an important comment and do not see it in my blog page, please re-send it.  I will make sure it gets posted.  Thank you for reading my blogs and I greatly value each and everyone of your comments.  This keeps me motivated and I will continue adding new information to my blog pages.

I think it is interesting.  For the past three weeks I have been unable to create.  My mind goes blank and I am unable to think of anything to write.  I have never experienced this before and it is very frightening.  That is why, today, I have decided to sit down and just write, even though I can not think of a specific topic.

Last week I was upset at the prospect of President Obama  being a guest on a talk show, especially “The View”.  I think of this show as frivolous and not the type of show  that our leader should be part of.  My “old fashioned” idea is that the presidency is dignified, on a high pedestal and the President should act accordingly. Obviously this is not today’s protocol.   I could not get myself to watch the live show, but was able to record it and I watched later in the week.  

These are my impressions.  I felt President Obama seemed to enjoy this role, and this did not surprise me.  He is known for enjoying the role of “rock star” and being in the media front.  I felt the women on this program were very respectful and they were very aware of their special role when questioning the President of the United States.  They were obviously prepared, and their questions were, for the most part appropriate. Even Barbara Walters carefully chose her words and showed a great deal of respect for our leader.  Elizabeth tried to ask a provocative question about the effect of unemployment on our population, but the question was, for the most part ignored.   President Obama was interested in letting the audience hear about all the wonderful things he has accomplished.  Joy, asked several frivolous questions, trying to lighten the conversation such as “Do you know that Lindsay Lohan is in jail? “  but I don’t believe these questions in anyway made the program less Read the rest of this entry »

In America Movie

 Every Sunday at 9:10 A.M. you will find my husband and I at the adult forum given at St. Patrick’s Episcopal church in our town, Incline Village.  This past week our rector gave the group the assignment to watch the movie “In America.”  We rented this movie and Sunday, during our forum, we saw parts of it and discussed what implications it had for our lives.  Much of our discussion had to do with faith..  The movie is about an Irish couple with two young daughters who came to America, via Canada, in an old car, with $100.00 in cash, and with no expectation about the future.  They had just lost a son to brain cancer, and especially the father lingered in a state of shock, unable to experience his deep emotions.  The oldest daughter, about 12, had a movie camera and she documented every part of their lives.

            They moved into a tenement in New York City, where most of the tenants were drug addicts and social outcasts.  On the first floor lived a tall, very scary, African man, named Mateo, who was known for his screaming any time, day or night.  There are many meaningful parts to this story, but for me, the most significant time was when the two young girls befriended Mateo.  They insisted on “trick or treating” on Halloween, and were excited to find Mateo home.  He reluctantly let them in, and after searching for some kind of a treat for the girls, he found a small jar filled with coins.  He gave it to them, and this was the beginning of a wonderful friendship.  What I saw was a clear depiction of unconditional love between these little girls and Mateo, which became the catalyst for all kinds of transformations for everyone. It turned out that Mateo was dying of aids, and the Irish mother was pregnant with a baby which the doctors said was in danger of not surviving.  By the family’s unconditional love for Mateo, as well as Mateo’s ability to return their love, wonderful things happened.  For me this was a clear picture of what it means to be a Christian and how unconditional love brings about positive changes for all of us.  Read the rest of this entry »

             For the past few months I have been aware of a change in my thought process regarding my faith.  I have also come to the realization that, for me, belief is the opposite of having faith. 

            There is much in the Bible that one can believe.  It is based on historical fact and stories that have been passed on from generation to generation.  However, vast amounts of the Bible are not logical or historically confirmed and must be taken on Faith.  This, in no way, makes it less important or irrelevant to our lives, but for me, it is important to be aware of the differences, and in some ways it makes my faith even stronger.   I used to think that I believed every single word in the Bible, and to question anything in the Bible was a sin.  After all,” the Bible is the word of God.”  What I have since come to believe, is that much in the Bible is written by men, translated from its original language, be it Aramaic, Greek or Roman, and men with various agendas have interpreted, edited and translated biblical texts. Also stories were verbally passed on from one generation to the other, and with every telling of a story some factual material gets changed.  This in no way diminishes my faith; indeed it makes my faith stronger.  I am Christian.  My faith tells me Jesus is the Son of God who became man, and showed us the way to live our  lives, and by giving his life on the cross, he showed us the way to obtain eternal life.  My feelings are not based on proof or belief.   Read the rest of this entry »

Brazilian Flag

            In my book “Divine Betrayal,” at the end of Chapter Sixteen, I talk about nationalism, and how I felt as a child about Brazil, and I still have these same strong feelings today.  When I see the Brazilian flag my heart skips a beat.  When I hear the Brazilian National Anthem, I have to stand and place my hand over my heart. It is a demonstration of my deep love and respect for Brazil. Something that was ingrained in me as a child

            How does this differ from my feelings about being an American? We are about to experience the celebration of Independence Day, the 4^th of July, and each year when this date comes along, I ask myself this question.  How do I feel about being an American?

            First I have always been proud to be an American.  Even in my early years, growing up in Brazil, there was a special sense to pride to be from this important nation, and I was “special,” because I could say I was an “American.”  But how do I feel today?  My answer, “with each day I am more in-love with this Country, its history, and I am extremely proud to be an American.”  I cringe whenever I hear a blatant criticism of this country.  We have been a leader to the world, and just look back and imagine what this world would be if the U.S. had not intervened in WWI and WWII.  Especially WWII! I believe that England would not have survived the Nazi invasion, and would have fallen like France.  China and the Pacific Rim would be slaves to Japanese fascism. We gave our energy and lives for the freedom of Europe and the Pacific. Then the Marshal Plan helped Europe quickly recover from the devastation of the war.  The Soviet Union might have eventually overtaken Hitler, but even so, imagine how different things would be today if we had not entered WWII.  Europe would be under the Nazi rule, or Soviet rule, and quite different today.  And I must add our nation would also be changed.  And imagine if Japan had won the Pacific war.  The occupation of the U.S. by Japan was their dream, and whether you believe it was right or wrong to use the atomic bomb, it probably saved the lives of tens of thousands of Americans and millions of Japanese.

            Our Nation has also been open to accept immigrants from around the world, who come with the intention of becoming part of this country and contributing to its progress..  There is a lot of confusion today, in the unlawful immigration across our borders by many, who have no intention of becoming Americans.  They come here to work and send money back to their families, in Mexico, Brazil or other countries, or they are in the illegal drug trade and they are filling our prisons to overflowing. These immigrants are very different from those coming through our borders looking to become Americans, and being part of the American dream, to learn English, pay their taxes and become American citizens.  The legal immigrants are still welcome in America and always will be welcome.  This is what makes America strong, and makes me very proud to be an American.

Read the rest of this entry »

            I just read an article that “rocked my world.”  I felt a deep sadness and fear.  I must share some of it with you. 

            Having been raised in Brazil, with a different language, and different culture, I strongly value my American heritage.  I love Brazil, and I write about my life in Brazil up to eighteen years of age, in my book, Divine Betrayal, and am glad for the opportunity to have been raised there, attending their school and particpating in their culture.   Yet, I appreciate and love America and value everything it stands for. In the last few years I’ve been very disturbed by the rise of multi-cultures in America. When I get a choice of which language I wish to use, Spanish or English, and in some places you can almost “name your language.”  I am disturbed.  In Nevada, where I live, the voting forms are in Spanish and English.  How can I feel confident that the persons deciding the leadership of our state and country are qualified to choose, when they do not speak English, which is the cornerstone of our culture?   I believe that language is the cement that holds us together.  

            In a speech given in Washington, DC, to some of America’ finest minds and leaders, the former Governor of Colorado gave a very strong, provocative speech which touched me to the core.  It is very long and I will only give you an outline with the main points.  I feel this speech should be heard by every American.

             It starts out with the statement: ”An autopsy of history would show that all great nations commit suicide.”  Here is how to destroy America.

1. “Turn America into a bilingual or multi-lingual and bicultural county.”
2. “Invent ‘multiculturalism’ and encourage immigrants to maintain their culture. For instance, I would make it an article of belief that all cultures are equal, and that Black and Hispanic dropout rates are due solely to prejudice and discrimination by the majority. Every other explanation is out of bounds.”
3. “Celebrate diversity rather than unity.  Benjamin Schwartz said in the Atlantic Monthly recently: ‘The apparent success of our own multi-ethnic and multicultural experiment might have been achieved not by tolerance but by hegemony.  Without the dominance that once dictated ethnocentrically and what it meant to be an American, we are left with only tolerance and pluralism to hold us together.”
4. “I would make our fastest growing demographic group the least educated.”
5. “Get big foundations and businesses to give these efforts lots of money. I would invest in ethnic identity, and would establish the cult of ‘Victimology.’”
6. “I would include dual citizenship and promote divided loyalties.  I would celebrate diversity over unity.  I would stress differences rather than similarities. Diverse people worldwide are mostly engaged in hating each other – that is, when they are not killing each other”.
7. “I would place certain subjects off limits – make it taboo to talk about anything against the cult of ‘diversity.’  I would find words similar to ‘heretic’ in the 16^th century – that stopped and paralyzed thinking.  Words like ‘racist’ or ‘ xenophobe’ halt discussion and debate.” 
8. “After a profound silence he added: “I would censor Victor Davis Hanson’s book ‘Mexifornia.’  His book is dangerous.  It exposes the plan to destroy America.”  Read the rest of this entry »

            Brazilians love children.  Children are revered and hold an important status in the family.  I have never seen a baby sitter in Brazil.  Wealthy Brazilians will have a nanny to help with the children, but the families are always together on all occasions.  Even when an adult has a birthday celebration, it is assumed that everyone comes, including all children.  

Other differences in Brazil and America is when boarding an airplane, families with children get on first.  Here, Southwest Airlines had this practice, but now they changed it to allow children to board after group A.   In a restaurant the waiters will come to the children first to take their orders and after they are taken care of, the adults can place their order.  My three daughters always loved our trips to Brazil and they were very aware of these differences and wished it were the same at home.

It is not unusual to see teen agers, both boys and girls, paying attention to younger children, such as taking time to talk to them and playing with them for long periods of time, not because it was a duty, but it is their pleasure.  I’m always struck by these differences in our cultures.

            I’m sure this extra love and attention paid to children, makes them feel wanted and important.  Therefore you might think that Brazilian children would have very positive self images.  In most cases I feel they do. However, as they become teen agers, self consciousness, comparing themselves to others who they believe are better looking, or have better personalities, may create self-doubt.  But overall I think of the Brazilian teens as being self assured and with an overdose of self confidence and positive self images.

            On April 20^th I flew to Jackson Mississippi.  As the airplane was descending and preparing to land I looked out of the window at the vibrant green colors, blue waters of the many small lakes below, and I started to cry.  I do not cry easily and wondered why this was happening to me.  What was happening within me, at this moment to cause me to cry?  Then it came to me like a bolt of lightening!  I was going to the Catholic Christening of my granddaughter Gracie.  What would my father and mother think?  Especially my mother, who believed that it was very rare that a Catholic would make it to heaven, and in my book, Divine Betrayal, (Chapter Thirteen, p.137) I write: “I joked with Mother about how shocked she would someday be to get to heaven and see all those Catholics milling about.  She threw me a stiff glance that said she knew better.”  And here I was on my way to the Christening of her great-granddaughter in the Roman Catholic Church.  But I soon discovered that these tears turned from sadness to tears of joy.  A flood of emotion filled me and I sobbed and cried even harder.

            Saturday was the ceremony.  When we got to the church the first person I met was the priest.  Before going on, I want to explain that my youngest daughter Martha married Todd, a young man from Jackson Mississippi.  His family has a long tradition in the Catholic Church.  Todd’s grandparents came from Italy and this Church has played a major role in his upbringing.   Gracie’s baptismal gown was made from handkerchiefs her great-grandmother brought from Italy.  The hem of the gown had embroidered names and dates of other family members who had used this gown.  The priest, Father Curley, came from another town to perform this ceremony, for he had christened Gracie’s Dad and all of Gracie’s aunts, uncles and cousins.   Sadly, Father Curley had buried Gracie’s  grandmother only two year before.  Father Curley was one of the family.  The ceremony was beautiful, Martha and Todd beamed the whole time, and I cried tears of joy.   Read the rest of this entry »