During the process of writing Divine Betrayal, I became aware that some of my family would disapprove of my story, but I had no idea it would be displayed with such fervor.

I sent two review copies (galleys) to two cousins. One cousin who was the closest to me refused to comment on anything she read. A few days later I received a telephone call from the second cousin who in a very sweet voice, said, “Thank you for sending me your book, but….” She went on to question places, dates, the facts of my memory, and my feelings. At one point she said: “I don’t remember you being sad or depressed during that time.”

I found myself feeling the need to justify my feelings—feelings that she would never have known or suspected. I had to explain to my cousin that different people will remember an incident in different ways and each person will tell a story differently. This doesn’t make it right or wrong (more…)

In the past three months I have received several e-mails and letters from Missionary Kids and Preacher Kids, who are now grown up and on their own.

The messages of their letters were very similar. First, they enjoyed reading Divine Betrayal, and were able to identify with my story. Second, MK’s and PK’s felt that I was very courageous to have written my story and several wished they could do the same but still were unable to handle the criticism, mainly from family and friends who were still intolerant fundamentalists. And all of these MK’s and PK’s asked me not to give their names, as most everyone they were close to did not know their true feelings and adult religious beliefs.

This made me feel very sad but I also understand where they are coming from. As an MK (or PK), we are under a lot of pressure to conform to the establishment, to think like our parents and the church—no exceptions.

Near the end of writing Divine Betrayal, I had to stop (more…)

A few days ago I attended a social gathering in our village. A gentleman who is also a writer, he has not yet published a book but dreams of someday becoming a known author, approached me. His comment was: “How is your book selling?”

I answered: “Very well, thank you, sales are slowing down a little now and I know I have to get out and do some more promotions.”

His reply was: “Do you mean that all your relatives have their copy and there is no one else who wants it?”

My answer was: “No, I have not sold one copy to any of my relatives, and I sent four free copies to cousins, who completely rejected my book.” He smiled, as if he did not believe me and walked away.

How do I interpret his comments? It hurt me at first, I even became angry at his sarcasm, but then had to remind myself that maybe he was experiencing some jealousy in the fact that I am published and I am sure he has heard the positive remarks about Divine Betrayal from mutual friends. This must cause some pain for him. I was able to quickly get over my anger.

I spent 5 years writing Divine Betrayal and like anyone who has written a novel or memoir, it was a very emotional experience and hard work. When finished, I was absolutely sure I had a marketable book and sent a very professional “query letter” and “Book Proposal” to 60 agents. The book proposal gave a sample of each chapter, description of the book, my biography, a comparison of similar books in this genre, and our marketing plan.

I heard back from 40 of the 60 agents. A few responses were form letters rejecting my story, but the majority liked what they saw. Several said Divine Betrayal “is well written,” “very interesting,” and that they wished they could represent me to publishers. However, they expressed the problem in that “No publisher today will take on a memoir or autobiography of a person who is not famous.”

The competition is fierce and the market is flooded with interesting life stories of famous people: movie stars, politicians, famous doctors, adventurers, etc…. And so I had to accept that no big publishing company was going to publish Divine Betrayal. This is when I decided to publish independently. However the rejections did hurt and hurt plenty. I had to deal with keeping a positive attitude and believing in my story.

I am glad we decided to self publish now. This gives us more control of the final product: the cover, the editing (which can sometimes change a manuscript dramatically—yes, even to memoirs), and of course even with a New York publishing house, we as authors are still responsible for the promotion of our own books. So, if I have to work so hard, why not reap the rewards? The only thing that remains a stumbling block for many self-published authors is the lack of distribution.  So, the saga continues. Sales are steady, but we are always looking for new ways to meet our market, to get the word out and to, well, sell books. Any ideas? I’d love to hear from you.

Warmly,

Graceann

In the past few months, I have had the pleasure of speaking to several groups about the process of writing my memoir.  I was surprised at how well received my lectures have been.  I’ve gotten comments like: “I have been to your book signing, and thought that this would be more of the same, but everything was new and interesting,” and “this lecture was informative and educational.  I never imagined there was so much involved in writing a book.”

It has been such a pleasure to meet new people and talk about this entire process, whether it’s the emotional element of writing your memoir (digging up and cleaning the cobwebs off of all those buried feelings and memories), or the backlash (more…)